How to Handle Difficult Situations

What can we do to make our lives more comfortable, those difficult situations easier to mange? If we know that we are going to have to attend an event that we will find difficult, is there any way we can prepare for it? Is there an way we can use those hours of discomfort which precede a social event or a business meeting, or perhaps a speech?

I do not think we need to just accept that thing may be difficult. We can prepare by practicing our relaxation as often we can. But these are also ways that we can develop our relaxing to help us further. If we are to do that we have to use our imagination.

We all have some imagination. Sometimes it is too vivid and we imagine all sorts of difficulties. That is counterproductive. But  a normal sensible imagination can be used to our advantage. We can rehearse and practice any situation we find difficult in our imagination.

   No actor would consider appearing on the stage without sufficient rehearsal, because he knows that he would make a fool of himself. the pressure of performing in front of an audience would make him perform unnaturally. He might forget his lines. He might, ‘did’ as actors call it. So an actor will always rehearse and practice before any new part.

     If you find some ordinary events just as stressful as an actor might find performing in a new play, you might consider preparing for that party or business meeting in advance, privately.

          If you are already doing relaxation exercise, you will remember that when you finished doing them you had a period of quiet and relaxation. That’s the time to use your imagination. Imagine that you are going to have to face, picture it in details. Think of your arrival, who might be there when you go in, what they might say to you, what you might reply? Go through the whole evening in your imagination if you can.

As we have already found out, you might experience any unpleasant sensation that you normally get in the real situations. Use your breathing relaxation techniques to deal with those symptoms. That’s good practice too. But do some planning as well. Decide how you are going to handle the different encounter.

 

    It may be that the actual event is nothing like what you imagine, so be prepared to adapt if necessary. You cannot afford to be too rigid. But the exercise is useful an interesting just the same, and worth doing.

        A friend of mine joined the Navy, he was a very ambitious and competitive person and he was determinate to do well. He was certainly no lacking in confidence. He realized early on that making a good impression on ones superiors was important, so he devised a system for doing just that.

          He knew that remembering peoples’ name and personal particular was important. It’s very flattering if someone remembers you and your particular interests. But how do you do that if you have a terrible memory and never have the least ideas who you are talking to, even though you have met them recently? It’s a problem of many of us have.

             My friend brought out the solution. He started a "Kardex” of everyone he met. After a party or a meeting he went home and wrote down the names of everyone he met and as much as he could remember about them. He soon built up a dossier on a large number of influential people. Then, before going to a party, or meeting, he would look up the guest list and try to work out who might be there. He could then read up their details and prepare himself before meeting with them.

  If he had been caught, my friend might have been taken for a spy. Keeping records like that isn’t the sort of thing that I’d be comfortable doing, particularly if it was a being done purely social reasons. But it might have a place in certain situations.

           Business representative keep similar notes about clients. A sales representative cannot afford to forget the name or personal details of a client, so before he makes a call he may well get out a card with the clients’ details on it so that he can refresh his memory. I think that is a quite legitimate exercise. If you have difficultly organizing yourself, good notes might be worth having.

                  Some professionals in private practice do the same thing. Good medical records are essential, so a doctor would commit a lot of information to paper after a consolation. Some of them may then turn over the sheet of paper and write a few further notes on the back, such as “Just moved to new house,” or “Son just starting school.”